Think about the first time you had this thought
Who was there? What did they say to you?
If you feel like you will never be good enough, typically what has happened was that you were either given verbal or non-verbal communication that your caregiver/s would love you, if only you were a little better. Most of us grew up with critical, fear based parenting. When we were criticized more than we were praised this is a normal thought to have. As a child without insight, one thing we might assume subconsciously is that we must be unlovable. This trauma really affected how we think about ourselves and others. Grieving this loss is important. It doesn't matter how long it's been since it happened. If we didn't grieve the loss it can still be triggered repeatedly. After grieving, try imagining that they said or did things differently. Imagine them giving you a hug or good advice instead of harsh words or deeds.
If you feel like you will never be good enough, typically what has happened was that you were either given verbal or non-verbal communication that your caregiver/s would love you, if only you were a little better. Most of us grew up with critical, fear based parenting. When we were criticized more than we were praised this is a normal thought to have. As a child without insight, one thing we might assume subconsciously is that we must be unlovable. This trauma really affected how we think about ourselves and others. Grieving this loss is important. It doesn't matter how long it's been since it happened. If we didn't grieve the loss it can still be triggered repeatedly. After grieving, try imagining that they said or did things differently. Imagine them giving you a hug or good advice instead of harsh words or deeds.